above the clouds, DAMN IT CARLTON, how to get cancer, walk on bottles, spooning, cordozar calvin broadus jr, easy-e died of AIDS, crime mob, cadaverous, DAMN IT FRED, queso, slobber mic, go build a railroad, Cable is optional, cake makeup, Plug-In air freshener, post coital
multiple sex partners, slept with rick salomon, appears in sex tape, slept with oscar de la hoya, slept with brandon davis, slept with leonardo dicaprio, slept with robert evans, slept with colin farrell, slept with edward furlong, slept with vincent gallo, slept with jamie kennedy, slept with jared leto, slept with robert mills, slept with mark philippoussis, slept with simon rex, slept with jake sumner, slept with deryck whibley, slept with paris latsis, slept with tom sizemore, slept with joe francis, slept with stavros niarchos III
the picture was of two, attractive, young, nubile women -- completely nude -- and engaged in utilizing a home office that contained, among other things, a large desk and an old computer. one of the women was seated in front of a monitor (a dated, low-res CRT) and surfing the internet; while the other was in the strange, unexplainable, and somewhat denigrating position of acting as her human mousepad: she was in fact sprawled out on the desk with a mouse on her belly.
difficult as it was to imagine anyone being able to concentrate in such circumstances on anything pixilated on a monitor whilst a real live naked woman breathed milimeters beneath one's mouse, the seated woman appeared to be accomplishing it with no problem.
surely one would be more interested in what was in front of the monitor. surely. surely. and how would the mouse gain traction on naked, heaving abdomen flesh? these were questions viewers of the photograph would have to work out for themselves.
the woman using the mousepad was young and toned with long, brown hair; she was completely absorbed in whatever was on the screen in front of her, which if one squinted, could be made out to be an open browser window in restored position. there was some unitelligble text on the window that must have been fascinating, for even the "mousepad," her long arms extended back behind her head while she lay naked on the desk, watched the screen intently. it was the irony of the scene, one supposed. perhaps the picture meant to suggest the transmorgrification of a mousepad in response to erotic images being located on the internet: a fantasy duplicated in front of the screen as well as on, and all generated through wires.
the angle of the photo offered the viewer an immodest shot of the mousepad's naked crotch: her vagina was slitlike and shaved. the user had positioned her mouse just above the mousepad's vagina on the flat part of her abdomen. further up the "pad" were the mousepad's ample, natural breasts; the nipples were erect; one breast was a bit misshappen. maybe it was just the angle.
the picture was harmless enough though, admitedly, it was objectifying. playfully objectifying, one might say. certainly it was fetishistic, yet it was unusual. one might even call it "funny" if one's humor were of a certain bent.
but the picture didn't really matter; the tags were the problem: they read simply, "Eve" and "Sophie."
the obligatory "nsfw" had been added as an afterthought.
some time went by as the picture bobbed in the waters of SWP like an offering -- waiting to be consumed, liked or not liked, ignored or noticed -- as objectified as the mousepad and perhaps just as naked. Dels was the first to notice it.
"Hey way to make some creepy tags," said he, and followed up his statement with the tag, "Creepy" with a capital C, which he added to the picture.
eve was next: "Eve and Sophie?! Is that what you dream about Garland?"
gentle ribbing, just gentle ribbing.
"no," answered Garland simply, but then he added for good measure, "oh and go fuck yourself Dels. You are nothing to me."
"uh oh," said Bleach, watching from the sidelines.
in fact, yes. the tags "Eve" and "Sophie" were problematic. they were directed at two female members of the SWP community. like bait they had been dipped into the deep waters of cyberspace, impaled upon a photo of naked women, objectifier and objectified, mousepad and user. it was an absurd representation, an outrage, a challenge, a taunt. or just simple, playground name calling: "this is eve and Sophie. here they are. look at the two of them. aren't they ridiculous? sitting at home in front of their PC? this really is them, you know. this is how they live: nude and engaged in abnormal, sexualized, and dehuminzing behavior." guffaw.
harmless. perhaps the picture was a comment on how the two users, eve and Sophie, interacted on SWP. if so, it was difficult to see that connection. but then one didn't know everything about them. yet certainly it was harmless teasing, nothing else; one might dismiss it and move on. but it was too late now for that.... things were about to get rather personal.
"I could give a shit how much I matter to you Garland," snarled Dels. "It's still creepy tagging. You've got a track record of chasing girls off this site too, don't you? Every time a new girl comes around, people start doing this type of shit and fawning over what they imagine an internet girl," he gasped mockingly, "to be like."
"good, the end," Garland said flatly. but it wasn't. he added, as if unable to help himself: "Actualy you are a creep for thinking it’s creepy, when it’s a joke to begin with. For as many rude pictures that have been tagged 'Garland' I take it as a joke," he argued. "If you can't, that’s your failing and not mine. Also," he insisted, "there is no fucking track record of me running girls off."
"AARGH RUN AWAY!" smiled JL, also listening.
Dels claimed her as his ally in the verbal sputtering taking place.
"Yeah nice comeback," he said sarcastically. "I am a creep for thinking it is creepy. I know you are but what am I? And you hardly take anything on this site as a joke. Everyone knows you take things more seriously than anyone else and you've gone as far as 'unliking' all your liked pictures so you could start over. And yes, didn't catherine originally run out of here after all the creepy shit you were doing?"
"It’s not a comeback..." said Garland. "you are a creep. Did you ask me how I meant the tags? no, because you wanted to start shit with me like the complete asshole you are. I did unlike all the pictures that I originally liked but that was so I can like them in chronological order from start till now."
"In chronological order? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Nothing wrong with me cocksucker. I wanted to relive the past posts update tags, help myself not REPOST and that was a good way to do it. Stop being a dickbag."
"It's one thing to tag this Garland," Dels continued, producing and holding up as evidence from the archives of SWP, a ridiculous gag-picture of an obese woman with enormous breasts sitting in front of a birthday cake. the photo indeed had been tagged Garland. "it's another ball of wax to tag stuff like this with people's names." he pointed at the picture of the two women.
"it is a stupid joke to sorta try to tit-poke every girl that shows up here," reasoned siamesetwix, "but it seems like everybody gets around to it, not just garland."
Dels, ignoring Garland, surfed the provided link, which led to a volume of images entitled "Garland Protest." they all had been posted initially without tags and in rapidfire succesion. they had been a response, it was assumed, to others not tagging their own images.
"Haha!" Dels reminised. "I also think he spent a few posting sessions tagging everything as 'Garland tagged this.'"
the incident had occured just after the site's webmaster had added a new feature called "tag peeking," which allowed any member of the community to mouseroll over a tag to see just who had tagged it. the feature was meant to deter users from "tag bombing" each another, that is, from labeling a picture with harsh invectives. ironically, Garland had made the tagging feature meaningless with his "Garland tagged this" tag since it at once identified him as the tagger without need of mouseover. perhaps it was just his quirky humor at work again.
"face it twix. its over and done. the past... why the fuck do you keep thoughts of me in your head so much/so long?" Garland wanted to know.
"Garland, you do have a creeper attitude," replied siamesetwix. "the Cat shit was a pretty critter-type move, even if you never acknowledge as such. So don't be so appalled if people treat you like this, considering how you crossed lines and shit."
"like I created her personal website or something?" saud Garland. "no. she wanted to be noticed on the web why else does she have a personal website url with her name in it featuring her 'art?'"
"Garland," said siamesetwix, "find all of JL's youtube interviews and high school pictures and post 'em."
2008.01.05 mvb | 176 tags 911 1-zs 78 attention whore angel about to swim angel angelic blowjob animated gif animated gif apple art as super mario bros atari attention whore awesome baby baby clothes band of outsiders bande a part banksy baudelaire beer big bitch bitches dont know black magic blacks are bigger blowjob booty border dispute bo-ring boring remixes inevitable boston massacre bullshit picture c3po candlelight vigil car cat cli
click for dick click for huge click for huge click for huge color repost comic book command line condom Connecticut consumer whore crotch trigger cthulhu cut your throat next bitch cutty cutty darth vader dead dels challenge Demon Tits desktop right now do want dog double-nosed dog earth eat now english pig dog faggotry fake is funny fashionism fatso for corey forth free man fuck robot furry gerald ford golf google helicopter crash Hoity Toity homer simpson I am your fathers day
i hate you dad inferno iran irony Japan jaxa jean-luc godard jesus christ its a lion jesus christ people jumped the shark kill it with the media les paradis artificiels lite brite little fucker look at me mac os x meta Metroid milf moon mr t mvb MVB is a racist MVB is a racist MVB is a racist MVB is a racist my boss likes porn nancy reagan NES cover band never forget never forget nippy nubian love
outgoing p diddy Phil Collins picture with words Pig Lib porch monkey profanity Prohibition protest p-switch jump puff daddy r2d2 redhead Redneck Rhode Island right now rip robot samus aran scooby doo Scooter Libby score September the Eleventh september the eleventh serious business SHIT MUSIC short shorts SidewaysPony sign simpsonized smurfette smurfette 2000 so not racist so true something french star wars Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks super mario world swp user swp-generated content terminal The Advantage tie-rack
timeanddate com Tokyo too stupid for life top seller transformer unable to excite thunderbunny unix unknown celebrity unknown is a tard unknown is an idiot USA USA USA USAs enemy is within vagina victrola Vintage Photo Virginia Tech warpath whiny bitches whiskers wikka wikka wikka woman driver world banana champion
2008.01.23 some of you have asked what i have been up to here on swp. i am ashamed to say nothing, absolutely nothing. i've just been enjoying tagging and goofing around with tags here. there was never any point to it. i'm obviously obsessive, so there's that. and i enjoy looking at images and finding words that apply. maybe tagging is like working a crossword puzzle. recently i found myself with a lot of time on my hands, so i spent it here on swp, tagging and playing around. i quite enjoyed it and would do it again. i may not be finished yet, actually. but i don't, unfortunately, have any more stretches of freetime in front of me. there are two main rules i follow with tagging: i try to be accurate and unbiased, and i try to be exhaustive. i don't consider myself witty enough to engage in clever tags, so i just stick to more objective ones. i enjoy clever tags, however.
"'Tis the time's plague, when madmen lead the blind."--Lr. IV.i
i just wanted to say something about the community here: it's a great group of guys. i enjoy reading your comments immensely. many nights i've been entertained by something one of you have written. i would never interfere in these exchanges for fear of messing one of them up.
a poet and you didn't know it..
don't worry about 'interfering' in any swp exchanges. if you read any random selection of unknown comments you'll discover that nothing is sacred -- besides, you seem to have something quite interesting to say.
even if you don't, i reckon you can always fall back on the fact that most of the swp ladies hella want to hit that.
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We've got to keep the riffraff out somehow.